Today’s letter touches on the topic of passion. Our writer is balancing creative impulses in love and art. Two topics I adore!
Dear Book Doctor,
I want a book that will help me feel my power and creativity as a woman while making dating feel light and fun versus heavy and future oriented. A book that will give me insight but also make me laugh.
Perhaps this is two book requests! Was thinking about doing Artist Way again.
I will recommend more than one book for you, but not for the reason you think. It seems that the answer to your dilemma is contained in your question.
One of the things that dating can do, in my opinion, is pull us into this forward-thinking place. “What’s going to happen next?” we wonder. We want answers and certainty. But these things are never possible. I could recommend dating books, but I won’t in this case. I think the way to keep dating light and in the present is to stay in the present with your creative lady self.
Go toward the part of you that wants to be creative and make art. Being with that part of yourself is going to keep you juiced up and pliable. I don’t think you need any answers about dating. You need to set yourself free to be a wild artistic woman. If your creative self is happy, the rest of it falls into place.
These are books that I think will help:
I love this writer. I first read his work in grad school for Expressive Arts Therapy. His view is that art is medicine, and in this case, I certainly believe that is true. This book is great for anyone who feels pulled to do the Artist’s Way, but prefers something more free-form and less regimented. This should jump start your artist self for certain!
I do adore some Twyla. It doesn’t matter that she is a choreographer- this advice is wonderful for any creative endeavor. I have even found her to be an inspiration for my running.
Concise and immediately applicable, this is one for the library. I read it and felt every suggested exercise made me want to make something right then. This is the practical companion to the philosophical aspect of Shaun McNiff above.
Last but most certainly not least, this should be required reading for life. Shaun McNiff will inspire you, Twyla will show you the keys to get started, but Steven Pressfield will kick you in the pants to get started.
I remember laughing at this one when reading it. It is short little one page tidbits that bust the critic and get you moving. This could probably be read in one sitting and I am sure I will come back to it again and again.
So… there you have it, Passionista. I think sorting out how to be with dating and love has a lot to do with submerging yourself as much as possible in what you love doing as soon as possible. Once you are feeling flow, creation, and the excitement of discovery, and once you stick with your creative process through thick and thin, it will be much easier to assess how you feel in dating. I think you will be a better partner to yourself and to others if you are a happy artist.
Because if your creative heart isn’t happy, no partner will be able to fix that. And if you are creating and delighted, it won’t matter how it goes in dating- you’ll be happy no matter what.
And, paradoxically, this seems to be when things turn out the best in that department.
The Book Dr.