A while back, the perfect metaphor for how the critic works hit me

It was during an IG Live: its long list of reasons why you won't ever be able to finish your book, write something meaningful, and on and on is just like a cover band's set list.

Think of the band that plays at weddings.

There's a list of songs they know people expect. They will get the result they want from playing these familiar songs: dancing.

Your critic is exactly the same. If you think about it, the lines it hits you with right when you're getting into flow are not new to you. You've heard them before, am I right?

Most of my students and clients can provide a list of judgements their critic has with very little effort.

Any of these top 10 hits sound familiar?

This isn't any good
You're terrible at this
What a waste of time
How can you be so selfish when the world is a mess

The critic trots these out as soon as you're getting decent work done, because it knows how to get the result it wants from you:

Stop writing — it’s too scary.

This is how it makes you dance. But what if we turned the tables?

Flipping the script on the critic.

The method I use, which has the benefit of being simultaneously effective and hilarious, is this:

Take what your critic is saying to you and sing it along with one of these catchy, suitable-for-wedding-reception hits.

Full disclosure: I may have gotten a little carried away compiling these, but it was really fun to make.

Just try to feel bad about "writing total shit" when you sing that along to Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way."

You are writing totalllllll shit!

Sing it with me. Louder!

Same with Waste of time, waste of time, ha! ha! ha! ha! Waste of tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime to "Stayin' Alive." It's perfection. Apply the Bee Gees, and the criticism becomes meaningless. Do you feel the critic getting nervous?

The effect of this is the miracle of any earworm song: encasing that nasty statement from the critic in hilarity. Very much like the boggart that was negated by the ridiculous.

It's really hard to feel bad about wasting time when you're dancing along with John Travolta, right?

Make that critic dance, and shimmy free of its control. It's easier than you think.

Now, let’s get back to writing!